This time, we had a correction request from Rin-rin, an overseas student from China.
Some of her expressions in self-promotion has been modified. Write your own resume with the hints.
Some of her expressions in self-promotion has been modified. Write your own resume with the hints.
Original Text
はじめてアルバイトです。
わたしは料理が好きです。キッチンで働きます。
日本語が話せます。よろしくお願いします。
わたしは料理が好きです。キッチンで働きます。
日本語が話せます。よろしくお願いします。
Sentences corrected
はじめてアルバイトです。⇒はじめてのアルバイトです。(It's my first for a part-time job)
*By adding, you can show the relationship between the first word and the other words.
It is more effective to write your working experience in your own country.
"中国では、ラーメン店でキッチンのアルバイトをしたことがあります。"
(I have a kitchen experience as a part-time worker in a Rahmen shop in China .)
わたしは料理が好きです。(I like cooking.) ⇒ [OK]
キッチンで働きます。⇒キッチンで働きたいです。(I would like to work in a kitchen.)
*To make your resume more appealing, you can use the following expressions.
"わたしは料理が好きなので、キッチンで働きたいと希望しています。(I would like to work in a kitchen, because I like cooking.)"
日本語が話せます。(I can speak Japanese.) ⇒ [OK]
*In addition to this sentence, it is better to show your Japanese speaking level .
"日本人の友達と日本語で会話ができるくらい、日本語が話せます。(I can speak Japanese at every-day conversation level with Japanese friends.)"
よろしくお願いします。(Thank you for your attention.)⇒ [OK]
*By adding, you can show the relationship between the first word and the other words.
It is more effective to write your working experience in your own country.
"中国では、ラーメン店でキッチンのアルバイトをしたことがあります。"
(I have a kitchen experience as a part-time worker in a Rahmen shop in China .)
わたしは料理が好きです。(I like cooking.) ⇒ [OK]
キッチンで働きます。⇒キッチンで働きたいです。(I would like to work in a kitchen.)
*To make your resume more appealing, you can use the following expressions.
"わたしは料理が好きなので、キッチンで働きたいと希望しています。(I would like to work in a kitchen, because I like cooking.)"
日本語が話せます。(I can speak Japanese.) ⇒ [OK]
*In addition to this sentence, it is better to show your Japanese speaking level .
"日本人の友達と日本語で会話ができるくらい、日本語が話せます。(I can speak Japanese at every-day conversation level with Japanese friends.)"
よろしくお願いします。(Thank you for your attention.)⇒ [OK]